Today i am wondering how come i forgot that i have a frn to whom i can speak whatever i feel like…….just sitting and doing nothing but still cant feel the peace of mind….its always on n on n on for no reason at all thinking all bad and negative things and nonsense stuff…….

No Escape from job its so frustrating and sulking that i cant even explain…..personal life have no end to its bakwas…

Fake people and Fake emotions ahhhh sick of it….dont show concern emotions frnship if dont mean it yaaar….i give a damn…….

whatever why do i care for ppl who dont deserve even bit of my attention…..plz dont tell me what to do and what not to i am seriously not listening to u and never will……

Lets gv a damn to things i dont like….will live will live my life the way i want to

Thanks & Regards
Shivani

I want to write about Bestest day of my life

It was Yesterday i.e. May 2nd 2010. I am fortunate to be a part of BSG (Bharat Soka Gakkai) or Buddhism. May 3rd is an important day in Buddhism practice and we celebrated it on May 2nd,as this was the closest Sunday to May 3^rd, I have attended the BSG meetings earlier as well and I always wondered why the people participating so happy…what are they getting out of it?

But, I always wished to be a part of the organizing committee or to do something on stage….and I am so fortunate that all of a sudden I got to know that I am the Emcee of the meeting. Emcee is the one who hosts the meeting. Me & Twinkle (Another Emcee). We prayed for almost 8 days in the morning doing chanting for 1-1-1/2 hours everyday…meeting new people, home visits and what not….we left no stone unturned. I was determined that I have to do it with 200% success. Initially I was scared of stage….as this was my first time on stage after 8th standard. I was little nervous…but my prayers worked…I was confident…my legs didn’t shake…I was full of confidence…it was a surprise for a person like me who is so scared of facing people that I spoke with confidence and looked at people, smiled and as per my Seniors I looked Vibrant and cheerful. Well our prayers were answered….and it went so well that we both were so spontaneous, that we added our own lines in the script.

After the meeting got over we were flooded with Compliments and appreciations…..I never got sooooooooooo many compliments and have never been appreciated so much…senior members and my fellow friends they all appreciated me so much….I WAS ON CLOUD 9

They not only appreciated but hugged both of us so fondly, that Yes you were above expectations. You were too good, “it doesn’t seems to be your first time on stage Shivani, said Noumita one of the member of BSG, who organized and co-ordinated every event which took place in the meeting

Wow it was a great experience, specially when you feel (because of some ppl) that you don’t deserve compliments…..but I know that I am unique in my own way and I deserve all the best and good things of life.

Now comes The best part…..I was going to grab a glass of water and suddenly a person standing there gave me a glass of water and said “A glass of water especially for the Special Emcee, you were to good lady” I was so happy, OMG do I deserve to be so special. I just loved it…. I will never ever forget this day of my life. It was a Special day a very Special day.

The only one who was interested in knowing about my day and about my performance and who was really really happy with the compliments I got was my sweetheart and love of my life my MOM :)  I love you mom….you are the best mom, my best friend…. I love you a lot.

Other performances were also very good and especially the Future division (kids), those kids were so energetic and full of energy and Attitude too

Well it was a day full of happiness, compliments, appreciation and confidence. I can face anything in my life, as I have complete faith, trust on my God and Gohonzon and of course not to forget my darling My Sai.

I love you God, you have given me the best things in life and I give my sincere gratitude to you. Please fill my life with happiness and days like yesterday… Fill my each day with energy, happiness, loads of smile, special people, my family, my friends. Keep the best things of my life intact and I am hoping for more wonderful and good things to arrive. Please be there always God.

Love

Me

1st Fact:  A complete Foodie

I love eating Gol Gappas, but from last 3 months I have not touched my darling Gol Gappas, as I am on strict Diet and my dietician said it retains water in body….not even a single Gol Gappa…oh plz Ek golgappe se kya hota hai : (

I love almost everything edible….expect lauki, tinda, palak category food selection depends on my mood as well, I like namkeen food more then sweets. But yes I have sweet tooth for kalakand, rasmalai, emarti etc. etc…You must be thinking aur kya bacha hai meethey mein…well cant help it as you know I am a complete FOODIE…….

2nd Fact: I am a good Cook

No really, I am not kidding, I can cook any type of food which my mom taught me during my school days and still keeps telling me what and how to cook food. The best compliment I got for my food was “Yeh dal to tumne bilkul apni mom jaisi banayi hai”. I love experimenting with food, trying new recipes, burning suji ka halwa, learning and cooking recipes from TV is also one of my fav pass time.

3rd Fact: I am a complete music Buff

It completes my life. I can’t imagine my life without music. I love almost every type of music and yes it depends on my mood as well. I love punjabi songs with loads of dhol beats…I love english songs tooo…..Bon Jovi, Scorpions, Eagles, Marc Anthony , MJ , Celien Dion, Backstreet boyz to name a few, so that u don’t doubt that I listen to only punjabi songs, I have listened all these singers, have not copied it from anywhere

These days avoiding sent songs as they erupt the senti + mental emotions in you very difficult to leave behind, it will be good for you as soon as you stop listening to Senti songs, as they screw your present and future…….so chill and be happy

I love Ghazals of Jagjit Singh,Pankaj Udhas, and any other good singer. I am a fan of Kishore Da, Lata Mangeshkar, Alka Yagnik,Sonu Nigam,Abhijeet,Shreya Ghoshal etc…etc….I need to write a new post on music.

4th Fact: I speak to myself

Yes many of us do talk to our self. But, I have named my soul as Sheeba, I call her Sheeba and speak to her about everything and anything. Its fun, Sheeba listens to me patiently and gives me advice best suited to my situation. No I am not a Psycho, but she doesn’t criticize me or say bad words for me, she appreciates me and scolds me as well. She is my best frn whenever I need her

NO I AM NOT A PSYCHO

5th Fact: I am Sorry :(  and I love you all

I Love my MOM and DAD, My family, My Friends, and My God

I have taken 6 precious years from my Mom, which she could have spent with me, if I would have been a good daughter. I was so busy in my life and relationship, that I forgot that she misses me a lot. She told me several times, but I was just too busy with my sulking relationship.

But, it’s well said its better late then never. With the help of my Sai Baba and of course my dost Garima, I got into Buddhism Practice, this practice helped me in realizing the true picture of that A******. Anyways I am completely out of it now and I enjoy my time with my Mom and Niece.

I love you MOM and I am sorry for taking those Precious Years from you

I love my Friends and my brother’s. I always give my sincere gratitude and appreciation to God that they have given me such Nice Family and Friends. They are always there to support me, I ignored them as well though but, I am trying to fix up the things now, I am sure they will understand and forgive me of my mistakes

6th Fact: I love Traveling

From last few years, I have developed a new hobby or interest….Traveling.

I love traveling to different places…no matter it’s Patna, Amritsar, Jalandhar,Chandigarh all that matter is Traveling.

I love traveling by all means, but my favourite is travel by road. I love stopping at different dhabas and having Tea and chit chat sessions. Having food on good dhabas on GT Karnal road is a wow experience.

Traveling with Family: Traveling with family is also fun for me. I can see my family being happy with the trip specially my mom and a trip to Shirdi. That’s my Favourite trip and I just wish to stay in Shirdi, Pune always and never come back to Dilli. I just lost all interest in dilli. Family holiday is also fun coz of my cousins and Chachu jaan. He is hilarious…na who khud chain se sotey hain train mein na kisi ko soney detey hain…..special attention is always on me….he will ask me every half hour “betey so gayi kya” and when I shout chachu soney do plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz he starts laughing and moving his eyes making his face so funny that I forget my anger and starts laughing with him.

Trip With Friends: Is always ooohhhhhllalalalalalalla…….We drink, dance, bitch, laugh, cry, fight, scare each other to the level that we fall in love with each other and at times hate each other like enemies. All the trips I had till date with my friends have been memorial in there on special ways. But, the best trip or Shahi trip we had was Mcleod Ganj. It was simply awesome.

7^th Fact: Re-mix of Facts now

I love watching movies, I will learn guitar this year as it’s my passion to learn guitar, I love shopping, I love going to Malls my fav is Ansal Plaza and Sahara Mall.

I love going to Big Bazar, Home town, pantaloons,le – marche type of shopping shops.

Window shopping is my fav time pass, I like reading sometimes, I am scared of cockroaches, lizards, snakes etc.etc. I love dogs.

Seven is very less number to tell my facts actually….so till next set of Facts Bye and God Bless

 Initially I was a little reluctant to join this wonderful practice but now I feel that I did a right thing. With so many worries in life I always felt where should I go whom should I speak to who will listen to me, but I found that Gohonzon is there to listen to my worries, and giving me the solutions.

 To start with I was in a bad relationship and I always used to think that I will never be able to quit. I prayed for the clarity of my relationship and all the fakeness of this relation and all the lies were in front of me. My prayers gave me the strength to come out of it and to never look back. I will not say that it doesn’t hurt to be out of the long relationship, but believe me I am a strong person today.

 I enjoy being at home now which I never used to enjoy, I ignored my parents big time, but now I make sure I spend enough time with my parents, I enjoy cooking now, I play with my niece, go shopping, watch movies and that too without giving any explanations to anyone.

 I ignored my friends because of this relation, but I thank GOD that they have given me the bestest friends and family one could ever dream of…. Touchwood Touchwood Touchwood

I had and have everything I guess to be happy about. But as I am a human being and being a Virgo I have a habit of taking tensions….but not any more…..I take life as it comes. Coz I feel if tensions can’t solve any problem why take it and disturb tension…..Jo hoga acha hoga

 This practice taught me, not only praying for self but for others as well. I pray for my family, frns and for there happiness and I feel happy about it.  I met good people in practice who never gave up trying to get me on track and with sync to myself *even if you ignore their calls ” they keep motivating you and will always be there to listen to your worries and help you with the solutions.

 I am happy to be a part of this practice. When we chant “Nam Myo-Ho Renge Kyo” everything seems to be alrite. I feel that I need not worry about anything as Ghonozon is there to take care of my worries and me. I am an active member of the group and hope to continue till I am alive. If by any chance I stop praying I feel that I am sinking deep down in my worries, I don’t feel happy about anything then, so I try and challenge my self not to leave it and keep on increasing the prayers with each passing day.

Now coming back to me….I want to go to Shirdi.. My Trip got cancelled in sep 09′ coz of  Swine flu. But I will go asap.

I am missing Sai baba ji and Shirdi. Whenever I am tensed Baba ji appears, either I will see his temple or I will see his photo on a vehicle or on a dashboard of cars *as he is very popular nowadays*…and a smile comes on my face and I feel “Baba ji is always with me”.

 Life is little boring but I am all set for the New Year. Last year went faltu nothing much happened in my life. The only best thing happened with me was I was Blessed with my Niece Shrishti and my cousin’s son Shreeyan. I meet Shreeyan rarely but I can’t think of my life without my Angel Shrishti…..I Love Her muaaahhhhhh.

Rest everything is in peace. I hope it continues and only good things start happening in my life.

 I hope New Year brings all the happiness, love and loads of new things in my life and I wish the same for everyone reading this and not reading this

Love & Care

 Brother: Once we were going back in our office cab, and a lady sitting at back seat was trying to tell the cab driver on the toll plaza, bhaiya go from here take that toll side…do this do that….Brother said why don’t you come and drive the cab :p)

 1^st Musketeer hehhehehehhehehehehehe

2^nd Musketeer hahahhahahahahahhahaha

 And the best conversation started :p) we were on the Vasant Vihar road and

 1^st Musketeer:  I saw a convertible here…..it was awesome, the driver was not driving the car rather the person or the owner was driving it….

 2^nd Musketeer: Now-a-days we  see Mercedes, Convertibles, Pajero’s many branded and costly cars on Delhi roads.

 Brother: I saw Lamborghini once…wow what a car…..it has a different type of noise which is very cool to hear……

 1^st Musketeer: Ya I saw a Ferrari, I was sleeping in the cab and heard a noise….and when I opened my eyes…It went Vroooooooommmmmmmmmmmm & out of sight

 Brother: Its nothing Lamborghini gets out of your sight in a blink of an eye….making a very unusual voice…very different from others.

 1^st Musketeer: Ya its like Vroommmmmmmmmmmm

 Brother: No a different Noise

 1st Musketeer: Ya a different Heavy sort of Noise…..

 Brother: Arey nahn yaar different noise altogether….kuch ajeeb se awaaz hoti hai Lamborghini ki

 1^st Musketeer at her Best: Kya who Lamborghini Lamborghini Lamborghini chilati hui jaaati hai :p)

 2^nd Musketeer: hahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 Brother: Silent no discussion further at all

 And Musketeers went laughing laughing and for next 2 days they remembered the PJ and laughed laughed and laughed together………KAMINEY MUSKETEERS

• Link the person who tagged you - Linked
• Post the rules on your blog – Posted
• Share the ABCs of you – Shared
• Tag 3 people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs –
• Let the 3 tagged people know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website –
• Do not tag the same person repeatedly but try to tag different people, so that there is a big network of bloggers doing this tag! (Very Important One!) – Kept in mind while tagging

A – Available/Single?

Single – Yes

Available ? I am not a property dude….in better words Single ready to mingle

B – Best friend?

Friends changes from Best to just frns so no comments on this one

C – Cake or Pie?

Chocolate Cake

D – Drink of choice?

Shikanji

E – Essential item you use every day?

Mobile, TV are musts for my day to start

F – Favorite color?

Blue

G – Gummy Bears Or Worms?

Not interested in any of them

H – Hometown?

Dilli hai meri jaan

I – Indulgence?

Perfumes,food,Movies,Music, Sleep

J – January or February?

Doesn’t make any difference,  have to go thru these months to reach fav months of the year … well both are good in terms that these months are cold and I love winters

K – Kids & their names?

Girl: Nandini for sure

Boy: Rudr…..nick wud be shinchen 

L – Life is incomplete without?

Loads of money, love and happiness

M – Marriage date?

Not sure as if now but would be in winters for sure

N – Number of siblings?

One elder brother

O – Oranges or Apples?

Oranges

P – Phobias/Fears?

I have lots of Phobias like water phobia, height phobia, cockroach and lizard phobias. Fear I don’t want to meet any ghost and don’t want to visit any haunted place.

Q – Quote for today?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…..hmmmmmmm…..aaaaa :p)

R – Reason to smile?

Happiness

S – Season?

Winters

T – Tag 3 People?

Not enough people to Tag, sorry as if now but will try

U – Unknown fact about me?

Let it be unknown

 V – Vegetable you don’t like?

Tori, tinda, lauki,baingan and many more don’t remember

W – Worst habit?

To be in tension always ….at times without any reasons

X – X-rays?

I wish I could have that fitted in my eyes and brain, so that I can scan people for there intentions

Y – Your favorite food?

Any good yummy tasty food, no matter its veg or non-veg

Z – Zodiac sign?

Virgo

My 1 day old sweetheart

Anyways, I don’t want to discuss that A** here, but I want to tell about an angel which god sent me thru my bhabhi & bhaiya …I became bua ji on 28^th March and my whole life changed for good.

She is very cute gappu like me and pretty as an angel….we call her Tidda, Mishthi, but her name is Shrishti. I love spending time with her and now she is 3 months old and has started screaming, smiling and making lots of different different noises. She love watching TV it seems coz whenever she hear songs on TV she stops crying and watch TV with full concentration.

Whenever I feel lonely or low she helps me come out of my sad world, her smiling face reminds me that life is beautiful and we should live it fully without any regrets and guilt.

Her innocence is so captivating that you will forget all your sorrows and start enjoying her not so understandable talks. I become kid with her as well, shouting on top of my voice, making non-sense noise, saying idiotic things to see that one sexy, cute smile of my angel…….I love her

God please give her a happy and healthy life, don’t deprive her of anything….give her everything she deserve and desire. Make me capable of giving her everything which I didn’t enjoyed or was not able to achieve in my life.

I LOVE YOU MY TIDDA

But, everything was just awesome and just out of this world…All I got to Eat was Dal-Chawal as my Breakfast, as my Lunch and as my Dinner and if you wish to have some evening snacks you will get Guess what???????           DAL AND CHAWAL AGAIN……………….

In the morning Dal-chawal with Aloo ki sabzi…lunch Dal-chawal with aloo gobhi without gobhi…dinner dal-chawal with baigan Aloo…hey bhagwan I missed Roti’s tooooooo much…I realized that Roti’s are so important for your digestive system to work properly in morning J

And to add on to it there was not Tea in the morning….how do those ppl survive without it…and after a long wait and begging I finally got a cup of tea which was so sweet that I just took a sip and my lips were sealed with sugar and my heart and mind spoke together no more tea plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I got to eat one more thing which was chidwada with sugar and Dahi in it oh man it was ummmmhhhh simply pathetic…..I drank four glasses of water to settle down that dish and I was about to puke several times but somehow controlled my emotions L

But, I should mention that they gave me lots of respect, care and Dal-Chawal J to eat for all 3 meals. They kept asking me Didi apne khana khaya…aur mein puchti thi excited hoke kya hai khane mein and the response everytime was…. do I still need to tell the response??????

Finally the D-Day…I thought that like Punjabi weddings will get some chole, puri, good good dishes and all but again again I got Dal-Chawal and thankfully puri’s for a change….me and my stomach were so happy to get something different from Chawal…but Dal chalwal remains the same but Jalebi’s were good and Saroj was looking Stunning in her bridal packaging….

And now comes my last day…I didn’t had anything since morning as again Dal-chawal was served in the breakfast but since I was feeling Hungry and only Dal-Chawal was the option I had to eat even if I didn’t wanted to….Food in Rajdhani train was a little better as I got Chapati in it , but there fav Dal-chawal was there as well, parantu kintu lekin maine bilkul nahn khaye…and I didn’t had Dal-chawal for next 1 week as well ……Typical Jail type feel was there,. You are supposed to eat only Dal-Chawal as we don’t know what is Roti and Tea….

I was wondering is it a Special Dish there or was it a punishment to me from God…as I eat lots of rice normally….pata nahn jo bhi tha bada hi solid OVERDOSE tha Dal-Chawal ka aur Bihari language ka….I got a little slang as well but improved and controlled it gradually…In Patna I spoke some words in bihari and my tone also changed a bit…and believe me I got scared for a while that my god what happened to my language…but I controlled it and now I am back to my Dilli bhasha…East or west Home and Home food is the best J

This blog is dedicated to Patna,Dal-Chawal, Rajdhani which was late by 3 hrs and to Bihar!!!!!!!!!!!!

J

Its being long time I have not written any post….kyun? Meri marzi….Mera Post hai mein likhun ya na likhun

Well I am very cool these days, as I told in my earlier post that whenever I am frustrated I write a Post…but thanks to my stars these days I am not frustrated but free like a bird, who wants to fly and want to touch the highest point of sky….

At times I do feel lonely, as my buddy Saroj got married and is now in Patna with her Hubby darling enjoying her new life (touchwood)….but I am really really happy for her that she got settled in her life… I love you my dost…She is the one who knows everything bout my life and is always there whenever I am in mess or whenever I need somebody to talk to or if I want to cry….I wish her a beautiful happy life ahead…

And again thanks to Saroj that I flew for the first time in Air India from Delhi to Patna…It was a good experience though a little scary, as I was flying for the first time…flying experience was good but I didn’t like the Air India flight…everything was so messed up there…AC’s were not working, it got delayed and above all the ppl in Business class were treated as VIP’s and ppl in Economy class were treated as Garib log as if we are flying for free…bloody we have also paid a good amount to fly….one of the person who seems to be a reporter shouted are we flying for free…haven’t we paid for the tickets as well…

Khair it took off and it was a good feeling flying in the sky…one of the person on my right and who was sitting on the window seat Was “Sleeping” how cud u miss something gud..above all he closed the window as he was sleeping, I was excited coz I was flying for the first time…I wanted to see the sky and clouds..but that idiot was sleeping…Flight took off and when I looked outside from the left window I saw the wings of the airplane and I thought that we are not moving…I checked and re-chekced but was not able to make out whether we are moving or not….I asked that man to change seat with me so that I can sit near the window and see the sky…he agreed…we were flying at the height of 33,000 Ft..Wow it was awesome.

We had lunch which was pathetic…and by the time I started enjoying my journey…we were about to land. But It was good tooo…the way he was flying it over the river and city it was a good view..i got scared a little when the tyres of the airplane hit the ground…we got down and a very funny thing happened…I saw and heard ppl shouting…as I was not able to hear clearly…I thought yaar lagta hai ko panga ho gaya hai Patna mein…ab kahan bhagun..I was traveling alone..but then someone told me its Pappu Yadav..and to my surprise he was in my flight only

Enough of Patna, now it comes to shaadi, It was “Awesome”…no more comments on it.

Life is going going and going where I don’t know…today is blood donation camp in Hav-itt….sab khoon peene ko tyar rehte hain

Work is as usual boring..not interesting at all…

Looking forward for something interesting in my life…count down has begun…just few days to go…….

Wait for my next post…at least I will have something to write on…so wait….

LOL

Special Friendship . .

You are the special one

With whom I needn’t pretend

You’re always there when I need you

Just like a proper friend

I didn’t think I’d trust anyone

The way that I trust you

But you have this way about you

And know how to get through

I’ve told you things I’ve only thought about

Of silent dreams I couldn’t let out

Of life, emotions and trivial things

Such things of which happiness brings

I tell you if I am sad, or simply just confused

You’re always there to listen, but never to be used

You tell me your secrets and what you’re going through

You’re always there for me as I am for you

Your friendship is a special gift

A lifetime it will last

Look to the future now and never to the past

New people you will meet, and many things you will do

But never forget me, because I’ll never forget you . .

This one is for all my Friends. Thankyou Doston to be there for me in time of need. I love you all muaahhhhh :p)